I first heard about the “spiritual principles” when my son, Tristan, was active in Narcotics Anonymous (NA), learning to live in a way that granted him some peace in his daily life. We were both inspired by people who put these principles into practice and how—day after day, year after year, decade after decade—they became the foundation for a life very much worth celebrating. Despite the many challenges that some of these people faced.
Those spiritual principles are…
Read MoreI came to my own recovery sideways and unaware. I was simply following my son, as I always had; hovering behind him, ready to catch him when he fell. Toddler or teen, Tristan was pure energy and adrenaline, running full tilt at life. Until he smacked into a wall. As a teen, that wall was addiction and, despite my hovering, Tristan had fallen hard….
Read MoreI sat at my desk with a mug of steaming chamomile tea, my laptop open. I had an important deadline tomorrow and wanted to double check that everything was ready. I was rereading my report, looking for ways to clarify concepts and add more rationale to my recommendations when a shriek pierced the silence.
“Mom!” Tristan was yelling for me, wailing.
I ran to his room and saw him sitting on his bed, head in his hands, rocking back and forth. At fifteen he was slim and, wearing only his pajama bottoms, he still looked like a boy…
Read MoreSometimes, it’s hard for parents to speak about their child who is in active addiction. Friends and family love to ask about our kids, but the usual, “How’s Joey getting along in university?”, or “How does Suzy like her new job?”, doesn’t land well when your kid can’t, in that moment, live up to what society expects of a young person. When somebody doesn’t know your child’s situation, it can be awkward and embarrassing to answer even the most innocent questions (“What’s Benji up to these days?). And if they do know, but don’t ask anything about them, it feels as if our child is overlooked; an embarrassment, not to be spoken of.
So, if you have a friend or family member who has a teen or young adult in active addiction, I know it’s not easy for you to make it easier for them. But I encourage you to try…
Read MoreGrieving the death of your child is always horrific, but I think there’s an added layer of difficulty when you’ve lost a child to addiction, drug use, or suicide. Stigma can make it hard to share our experiences, but not sharing them magnifies our pain and makes us feel alone. I’ve always been open about my son’s struggle with addiction…
Read Morethe weight of air is a fast-paced story about one man’s decades-long struggle with addiction and his hard-fought recovery. David Poses was a “functional addict”, able to hide his addiction from others (and sometimes from himself), but his need to get high played havoc with both his inner and outer life…
Read MoreI lay awake listening to the chickadees. With all their predawn chatter, I usually wanted to wring their sweet little necks. Anybody who chirped so loudly at 3:30 in the morning deserved a good swat, I figured, and I would have been happy to oblige if only I had the energy to do it…
Read MoreSomeone recently asked me what “recovery” means to me. Meaning my recovery. Not my son’s recovery – though he was the one who brought recovery to our family. Not my daughter’s recovery – though it’s her recovery that’s laying a strong foundation for future generations. But my recovery. I haven’t struggled with addiction, myself, so how does that word apply to me?…
Read MoreTristan and I watched the other students frog-hop up the stairs. Feet together, crouched low on each step, they burst upwards to land on the next. Some swung their arms for momentum, but the more senior students held their hands in prayer position as they jumped. A few students were already on their way down, hands first —right hand on one step, left hand on the next—legs wide, in a bear crawl…
Read More
